Inquiries about troubles in the information for college students 13 and older.
There is an outdated adage: the apple doesn’t fall also far from the tree. It suggests that children are a whole lot like their parents, or that they ultimately end up with values and ambitions comparable to their parents’.
Do you agree?
In the Motherlode blog post “Far From My Tree,” Sue Robins writes about feeling “both proud of and horrified for” her son, who plays drums in a punk band that excursions the country, taking a path different from the one particular she anticipated, namely, going to school soon after higher school.
As my kids traveled by way of their teenage years, I emphasized to them: Find your passion and adhere to it. What I actually meant was: Discover your passion, but do it in the way I did it. That is, go to college very first, get a liberal arts degree, meander via your 20s, and then supplement your undergraduate degree with graduate studies. All whilst wearing clean, intact clothing.
But what if, as Andrew Solomon so eloquently addresses in his masterpiece, “Far From the Tree,” your child ends up so very diverse from you? I read through “Far From the Tree” because it speaks of youngsters with disabilities (and my youngest son has Down syndrome), but I gained a deeper understanding of all kids who stray from their parents. If we face reality squarely, and give our youngsters the room to be who they want to be, every single youngster need to be diverse from his parents, and should be permitted and even encouraged to fall far from our trees.
… I read a biography of Dave Grohl, the former drummer for Nirvana. In it, Mr. Grohl’s mom – a teacher herself – agreed to let him drop out of substantial school so he could tour with his band. She stated that he was very good at a lot of things, but college was not a single of them. Obviously Mr. Grohl’s path did not incorporate the standard, go-to-college-get-a-job trajectory.
My son is educating me that there is not just one particular way to live lifestyle. Yes, I want he would go to college so he does not dwell below the poverty line and reside in a property of squalor.
But that is what I want for him. That is not what he desires for himself. He is not the male edition of me. He’s a musician, and the innovative existence implies a guaranteed volume of struggle and heartache. Each time we meet for lunch, I inform him that I enjoy him, and that I’m proud of him.
College students: Read through the whole site post, then inform us …
- To what degree do you determine with this mother’s account of her relationship with her son?
- Ms. Robins suggests that young children be encouraged to be various from their mother and father. What do you believe about this notion?
- How is that concept complicated by her statement that what she needs for her son is diverse from what he desires?
- How do you believe parents should deal with their youngsters who choose a path that has a “guaranteed sum of struggle and heartache”?
- What do you anticipate your relationship with your mothers and fathers to be like when you get out on your own? Or, if you are previously on your own, how has your relationship altered?
- How do your parents’ expectations for you influence your selections?
Students 13 and older are invited to comment under. Please use only your initial identify. For privacy policy causes, we will not publish pupil remarks that incorporate a last name.
The Learning Network Blog: How Are You and Your Parents Alike and Different?
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