What an honor to be posting on this forum! Wonderful Britain has such a great tradition of brilliant scientists, from Isaac Newton to Stephen Hawking to Grace Coleridge Frankland (fellow of the Royal Microscopical Society and writer of the 1903 guide Bacteria in Daily Daily life – one particular of my favourite common science books of all time).
When I daydream about such giants of science, I can not aid but really feel humbled by my very own small part in this epic story. Our journey of scientific discovery has been unfolding for millennia, and will undoubtedly carry on for millennia into the future, when our distant human descendants will not even blink at extraordinary technological wonders this kind of as teleportation, daily space travel and instantaneous mac ‘n cheese!
In numerous approaches, 2013 has been a great year for humankind. The Higgs boson has been recognized. We are finding ever a lot more habitable planets across our Milky Way galaxy. Just nowadays I read that a group led by Mike Thewalt at Simon Fraser University held a fragile quantum memory state at area temperature for 39 minutes. Thirty-9 minutes! That shatters the world record! The head tingles at the ways in which ultrafast quantum computing could modify our world in the not-too-distant long term.
Alas, I now concern that such significant technological breakthroughs will be handful of and far amongst in the coming years. We could in truth be heading toward a period of prolonged stagnation in scientific advancement. No, I’m not talking about fewer young individuals interested in mathematics and science. And no, I’m not speaking about a sluggish planet economy slowing down research. I’m talking about a potential with out OZMAT.
You don’t know this, but I, Dr Elias Lipton, PhD, am the sole remaining researcher at a leading-secret US government agency. Effectively, it was best-secret. Right up until last month. In addition to this quite public publish, I have also just lately released a trove of details on-line – video clips, documents, audio clips – all highly classified info that was originally meant to be delivered solely to my superiors at the US Division of Defense. Now, soon after a series of very troubling occasions, I have been left with no selection: I have brought OZMAT out into the light of day. It is my hope that by way of informing the planet about OZMAT – what it is, how it transforms the world, the techniques it cares for hundreds of beloved creatures living within our facility – I may save the company, so we can carry on to work towards humanity’s following paradigm-shifting technological breakthroughs.
I know, I am biased. I can hear you saying it. Correct, I have worked at OZMAT considering that 1967, when I joined the personnel at the age of 22 beneath the tutelage of my good friend and mentor, Dr Hans Meinhof. And real, considering that 1999 I have been the only OZMAT researcher (due to price range cuts and particular other worries). And yes, until finally the newest events forced me to depart the secret underground facility, I hadn’t really been outside because 1999. But do not confuse my decades of commitment for blind loyalty. Think me when I tell you that OZMAT is one of the most important – if not the most crucial – companies in the globe.
Ah, OZMAT: The Workplace of Zoological Mutations, Anomalies and Transformations. It all started out in 1945 when a US Coast Guard vessel came across a odd blob in the ocean that was emitting huge quantities of power. When Dr Meinhof identified a way to apply the specimen’s properties as the ultimate breakthrough in the improvement of the atomic bomb, the US government speedily established the leading-secret agency OZMAT. The company was tasked with studying all miscellaneous creatures discovered all more than the planet – their habits, their abilities, their powers – with the objective of putting the analysis towards the advancement of main technological breakthroughs and inventions.
Practically every single significant breakthrough you know of was the result of OZMAT analysis. The personal laptop. Human spaceflight. The inflatable travel neck pillow. The listing goes on. For decades, OZMAT researchers have studied the planet’s most superb creatures and channeled their extraordinary capabilities toward the great of mankind.
The creatures, oh, the creatures! They are like household to me. There’s 3,000-pound Asimov, with his tendency to expel giant laser bursts from numerous orifices on his entire body. And Shelley, our half-plant/half-animal who is constantly so desperate for attention and never ever ashamed by her distinctive and intriguing capacity to make objects via a dual process of defecation and vomiting. And of course, we can not forget Alexander Graham Ball and his keen sense of hearing.
And then there is Edison, the most recent specimen to arrive at the OZMAT facility. This exceptional vitality creature represents the closest I’ve come in far more than a decade to the ultimate technological breakthrough: low-cost, free vitality for all.
But now Edison is missing. MISSING! I can barely type the phrases with no trembling! He’s gone from the facility, disappeared much more than a month in the past. I have no doubt he was swiped, taken, snatched, kidnapped proper from his domicile in the dead of night (how this perpetrator outmanoeuvered our safety method I nevertheless do not know). I worry this horrible deed was completed by the Division of Defense itself, or some other faceless agent of incomprehensible evil.
As I create this post I locate myself in the darkest chapter in OZMAT’s long, storied historical past. The agency is in danger of shutdown. I shudder to feel of the fate that awaits my creatures if that comes to pass. And I weep at the considered of humanity’s reduction. It is my desperate hope that you, my dear reader, will spread the word via the scientific neighborhood and the basic public. Teach yourselves, and the globe, about OZMAT. Do all you can to conserve this invaluable agency!
Right after all, our future as a species depends on it.
To find out much more about OZMAT, please visit the official internet site, ozmat.org
Fantastical science under threat as top-secret OZMAT lab faces closure
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